I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
