I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
