i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
What drink are we having for lunch?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize