New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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