I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Sorry my hands just texted you
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
