There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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