Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
