that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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