Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Floor bacon is actually really good
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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