Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
They took my balls.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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