you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
