Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
