How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My breath smells like gin and sadness
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
