They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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