theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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