doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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