i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
