sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
