it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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