Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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