Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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