just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
