Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
zippers are such a cool invention
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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