Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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