Jerry, you need to find god
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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