you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize