we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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