she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
