Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
