While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
