sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
