You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
