Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
