You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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