After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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