This girl is more easily done than said...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
