Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
