Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
