Can i not drive my cunt home
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
