dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
