we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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