The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
