While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The adults are the big ones right?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
