just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
