These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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