oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
