yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
