Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
