Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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