Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize