He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
