This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
