shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
