What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
