I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Two words: nipple clamps
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