Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just had sex on a roof
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
