I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
