Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize