I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Even my vagina gasped.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
