got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
