One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
