you turned your livingroom into a bong?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
