in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
