I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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