just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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