I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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