Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize