drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
